The Gentlemen’s Guide To The Do’s and Don’ts of a Valentine’s Day Card

For all you romantically-challenged gentlemen who struggle to navigate the minefield of expectations that accompanies every February 14th, I have a suggestion.


Last Valentine’s Day, my wife stopped by the card section at our local Publix supermarket in hopes of finding the perfect Valentine’s card for you know who.  At this store, the card section is conveniently located right at the front entrance. She picked up one card after another, read their poetic expressions of romance, and replaced each as she continued her search for the perfect arrow to be shot from Cupid’s bow.  As she was standing there, assessing her umpteenth card, a guy walked in and came to a sudden stop.  Staring at the rows and rows of red cards, a look of enlightenment crossed his face as he suddenly remembered that this was the day BEFORE Valentine’s Day.  His epiphany propelled him toward the card rack where he reached down, picked a card, and without even looking at the words inside, stated matter-of-factly “WIFE!”, tossed the card into his buggy and started onward.  My wife, in shock that this guy never even looked at the card, spoke up. The conversation went like this.

Patrice:  “Wait a minute, you can’t do that!” 

Male Shopper:  “Do what?

Patrice:  “You have to take your time, read the cards and find the perfect one for your wife.

Male Shopper:  “The card said wife, that’s all I need to know.  My wife will like it.”

And off he went, ignoring the chuckles of the other men and women who were diligently fulfilling their annual quest for the perfect card.

Let’s just say, he will not be a finalist in any Don Juan awards this year.

Full disclosure – this yearly salute to Cupid may require more than just a card to convey your heartfelt affections for your beloved.  I have heard and have confirmed through personal experience, that the romantic mood is always enhanced when accompanied with chocolate, flowers, or stones that sparkle.  But regardless of your gift selection, if you have any hopes that this will be a day of romance,  GIVE YOUR LOVER A VALENTINE’S DAY CARD!   

If you clueless Knights of Woo need some ideas, here are a few thoughts from about card-giving during this annual festival of love.

  1. First, as has already been noted – at least give her a card.  If you are going to ever overspend on a card, this is the time to do it.
  2. Date the card, February 14, 2021!.  Wives or girlfriends tend to keep these cards…forever!  You want it to be something she will cherish and not a reminder of how her hubby lacks a romance gene.
  3. Don’t just sign your name.  Do not let the card do all the talking. The card may say all the right words, but make it personal by adding your own affectionate thoughts. 
  4. Better yet, write your own card – It could be a poem or a short heartfelt message.  It can be funny, silly, awkwardly romantic, it doesn’t matter.  If it’s heartfelt, it will be appreciated and cherished.  Be sure it sounds like you and not just copied from a Pinterest post. You get bonus points if you know what Pinterest is.
  5. Gift?  Highly recommended.  Need guidance? Remember, it should taste sweet, smell really nice, or have lots of sparkle!
  6. Don’t wait until the last minute and be tempted to grab the first card you see.   Most women I know have built-in sincerity detectors.  They can immediately spot a card that was grabbed as you walked down aisle number 12.
  7. Want to really stoke the romantic fires? Celebrate Valentine’s Day every month.  One month bring home flowers, for no other reason than to say “I Love You.”  Next month, send her another Valentine’s Day card.  The next month, surprise her with a gift.  There are certain expectations every Valentine’s Day, so you had better meet or exceed those expectations if you want Cupid’s arrow to hit its mark.  But Cupid can stay busy all year with unexpected surprises that come when she least expects it.  Besides, it’s job security for Cupid.

Men have a reputation, a well-deserved one I might add, of not being able to express their feelings.  Every February 14th is an opportunity to put those devoted, passionate feelings into words, either verbal or written, and communicate how you feel about the most important woman in your life.  If you need inspiration, spend a few minutes reading Hallmark cards.  

Besides, I don’t think you want your romantic adventures to depend solely on the accuracy of a cute winged cherub with a bow and arrow.  

Learn to communicate your affections in words (and deeds) and every day can be Valentine’s Day.  For her and you!.

Note: Photo by Pawel Czerwinski on

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Comments (



%d bloggers like this: