It has long been our family tradition to say grace before meals.  I have found it fascinating how many different ways we refer to this simple act before eating.  Some folks “say grace”, while others “return thanks” or simply “say a blessing.”  Whatever, you call it, it is an act with profound meaning.  

Having a heart of gratitude has long been recognized as a good thing for the human soul.  Philosophers and teachers through the ages have noted the benefits of a thankful spirit.

Epictetus:  “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.”

Henry Ward Beecher:  ”Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul.”

St. Paul: “In everything give thanks…”  I Thessalonians 5:18

Of course, let us not ignore a contemporary font of wisdom 😀:

Willie Nelson:  “When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.”

If I have discovered anything in my senior years, it is that a heart of gratitude is fertile soil for a score of virtues such as humility, self-control, patience, generosity and contentment, to name but a few.  Oh that my grandchildren will grow to be men and women with hearts filled with gratitude and a bold enough spirit to express it.

Shame on us if we reserve an attitude of gratitude for a once-a-year observance while we are devouring Tom Turkey. There is so much more to saying grace than reciting a prayer. Seeds of virtue are seeking fertile soil. 

What do I mean? One author has some fascinating insights about the lessons our children can learn from the family dining table.  I pass them on here as encouragement to never stop “saying grace.”

Fr. Patrick Henry Reardon opined in a Jan/Feb 2010 Touchstone magazine article titled, “Wisdom from the Table” that “the most basic steps toward virtue are mastered at the family table.” 

Here are some of his thoughts:

“First, a person learns to pray at table, to thank God for his blessings, some of which the family shares at mealtime. He thus acquires the habit of gratitude, which is essential to a soul pleasing to God…”

“Second, because he has just thanked God for his food, a person cannot logically complain of it. This would contradict his prayer of thanksgiving. On the contrary, he eats gratefully what is put in front of him, and a child is correctly given no choice in this matter. He thus learns to receive what life offers and does not entertain the fancy that experience must conform to his preferences. This simple lesson is indispensable to the formation of character.“

“Third, a person learns elementary self-control. He is discouraged from gorging himself like a mule. He gets a feel for proper portions in eating, because there are others there at the table with whom he must share the food. Thinking of the others at the table, he also acquires the habit of restricting his passions and appetites, a lesson fundamental to the moral formation of character.“

“Fourth, at the family table a person becomes versed in the formalities of speech common in a polite society. Under the gentle discipline of his elders, he acquires the ability to communicate with others kindly, a trait also vital to the contouring of character.“

He goes on to emphasize how critical the role of the table is to a child’s formation in the home:

“It is at home (domus) that human beings are–literally– “domesticated.” It is during meals that they increase, not only “in stature,” but also “in wisdom” (Luke 2:52). Here they acquire those patterns of affability, restraint, courtesy, social dependence, and cultivated joy that prepare them for a wise life in a larger world.“

All that said, let us remember that the primary purpose of “saying grace”  is first and foremost to give thanks to the Lord our God for His many blessings.  Yet, the humble act of saying grace before meals is more than just a tradition — it is a farmer planting seeds of virtue in the young souls around us.

Every day can be a Thanksgiving day and every day can be a day to plant seeds of virtue.