I had an “aha” moment recently.  I realized I am a slave to efficiency.  Yes, I delight in multi-tasking, taking pride in checking items off my to-do list, and embracing impatience as a motivator to get things done.  

I rationalize that I am just someone with a need for speed when it comes to achieving goals, whether it be grocery shopping, cutting the grass, or editing my blog posts. What’s the fastest way to get it done? When shopping, I am a hunter, not a grazer — make a list, hunt the items down, pay for them, and go home.  At pot-luck dinners, I find myself being judgmental about the serving process, wondering why the serving line doesn’t go down both sides of the table rather than just one.  It would be so much faster! 

I could blame this obsession with efficiency on my education.  My Industrial Engineering Degree from Georgia Tech is oriented to time management.  I could blame it on my career.  I spent several years at BellSouth and AT&T developing time standards.  I could blame it on our culture.  Fast food, Google searches, and TikTok feed the need for speed in everyday life.  Our culture seems hell-bent on shortening our attention spans, if not our lives. 

But, I confess. There is no one to blame but myself. I am simply too impatient.

Then I married Patrice.

My wife operates in another time dimension. She is not a slave to a clock; not sure she even owns a watch.  She warned me before we married, “I don’t like to be in a hurry.”  Which I have since learned meant I would be better off using a sundial for any time management expectations.  She explained.  “There are times I meet perfect strangers in a store, and we start having a friendly conversation.  Before I know it, personal topics come up, and I am able to listen and even encourage others.  It’s like a God-moment where He wanted me to be there, at that place and time, to be a listening ear or an encourager to someone in need.”

It wasn’t long before I witnessed these providential encounters.  We have our list for the grocery store.  I am in hunter mode, tracking down the items, doing a quick cost-analysis in my head while placing the items in our cart, deriving satisfaction in checking off another successful find, only to turn and see my beloved talking with another customer.  Their conversation lingers.  I am ready to move on to aisle 3, finish the shopping, get home, and unload the groceries in time to watch the Braves game on television. Her eyes catch mine.  I can read their message. “Not-so-fast honeybun.” Might as well find my sundial. Only later do I learn how this chance encounter was a moment for her to minister to a soul in need. Only later does my frustration with her patient pace turn into guilt.

Even in retirement, I have struggled to slow down. I am beginning to wonder if finding Patrice later in life is God’s way of helping me discover the virtue of patience. Her favorite Bible verse is Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.”  Being still has not historically been an attribute of mine. But, enjoying a good book, engaging in meaningful conversations, and allowing myself time to ponder life’s mysteries are becoming a more frequent experience for me. On a recent family beach vacation, I quietly sat on the beach and didn’t do anything but rest and listen to the sounds of waves crashing on the sandy shore. Staring at the horizontal horizon of the ocean before me was a humbling experience. Ironically, I never feel closer to God than when I am aware of how small I am in His vast universe. 

We live in an age of distractions. The more we are distracted, the less likely we are to think about important things — things that matter.

For some people, prayer seems like a colossal waste of time. I find it to be  the opposite. It is the best use of time.  As one minister put it, “The ability to calm your soul and wait before God is one of the most difficult things in the Christian life. Our old nature is restless…the world around us is frantically in a hurry. But a restless heart usually leads to a reckless life.”

Impatience is reckless.

But patience?  Well, the Bible calls patience a fruit of the Holy Spirit.  

I don’t need to pray for patience.  As a senior citizen, I have daily opportunities to exercise it.  Funny thing about patience. When I exercise it, I discover a greater capacity for grace, mercy, and forgiveness. 

And I’m learning that is a multi-task I can delight in.