This Apple Watch of mine is amazing.  The days a watch just telling time are over.

This Apple product is revolutionary.  Dick Tracy has arrived. (If you understand that reference, then you must be over 60 years old.)

This revolutionary device not only tells you time, but it will also monitor activity levels, including steps, distance, calories burned, and workouts. This digital dynamo even tracks heart rate and sleep patterns and can perform ECGs (electrocardiograms), allows you to make and receive calls, send and receive messages, and access other apps, enables contactless payments using Apple Pay, provides navigation and location-based services, provides current and future weather conditions, allows you to stream music and podcasts, set alarms and timers for various purposes, is water-resistant, allows you to call emergency services with a long press of the side button, automatically detects falls and alerts emergency contacts, has access to Apple’s virtual assistant through voice commands, and enables contactless payments by double-clicking the side button and holding the watch near a reader. 

And that is only the short list of its functionality.

But I recently discovered a flaw in its ability to do just about anything.

Apparently, it cannot help improve my golf swing.

Just this past week, I was playing golf when an errant swing resulted in a slice of magnanimous proportions.  While I usually do not utter anything one could describe as profane, my usual calm-in-the-face-of-adversity demeanor failed to control a slip of the tongue.  Forgive me, I am ashamed to admit my verbal indiscretion. As I saw the ball power fade to the right, I uttered, “Oh crap.”   But in response to my exclamation, Siri on my Apple Watch quickly offered the following words:  “I don’t know how to respond to that.”

Not even a reminder to avoid those outside-in slice-inducing swings.  Thanks Siri…for nothing.  Next time, keep your digital articulation to yourself!

Unless you are programmed to shout “Fore!”